BROOKE McELDOWNEY

ONE COULD JUST FALL ON ONE'S SWORD

2008-07-14T22:43:08Z

CARTOONISTS ARE, AFTER ALL, INSANE.

As of this week - as of today, in fact - I will post Pibgorn five days a week. For those of you who follow Pibgorn with interest, and without blunt objects, this will be good news. You may recall awhile back that Pib appeared six days per week, Monday through Saturday, a frequency I maintained for several years until I began to feel rather worn at the edges. In order to cut myself some slack, I reined back to three days weekly, and maintained her at that rate for over a year. Possibily two. I lost count.

As fate would have it, however, I find I just can't stand it. I want Pib's epics to move before my eyes without the aid of a time-lapse camera.

So I have informed the kindly people at Gocomics that I'm stoking the giant engine that creates little fairies, and will be posting Pibgorn every day except on weekends, when I plan to collapse and ponder the insanity that is cartooning.

PAUL DOKTOR

2008-07-04T15:19:55Z

I have searched the web from time to time in an effort to find references and photos of Paul Doktor, virtuoso violist and teacher, leading me to feel more than a little frustration that such a marvelous musician should be so unrepresented. So, here I make my own little addition to the memory of a person who was my teacher and friend. The Wikipedia entry on Paul also features a photo that I think is nice.

This shot was taken at a publisher's party in a gallery situated beneath the Metropolitan Opera House in New York. I think it was 1986, or thereabouts.

I remember this occasion in particular because I had managed to acquire a four-inch split in the seat of my trousers. Enough that I could feel a breeze. I just kept my coat on and avoided bending over. It gave the evening an air of danger. I had told Paul about it, possibly just at that moment. His expression would seem to indicate it.

HAVING SCAPED THE SERPENT'S TONGUE...

2008-06-07T20:24:05Z

Back from the publishing front, all I can say is that "Pibgorn Rep: A Midsummer Night's Dream" is doing rather well. I am pleased. Delighted even. My collaborator, however, won't return my calls.

Meanwhile, books remain: 176 pages; Elizabethan English (including the naughty bits); intrigue, adventure and romance (including the naughty bits). Just contact pibpress@verizon.net, let them know your zip or country, how many copies you'd like (you may include "Pibgorn - The Girl in The Coffee Cup"), priority or media mail, check or credit card via PayPal. They'll get back to you with the cost.

Does anyone remember that "Rocky and Bullwinkle" episode in which someone, voiced by Daws Butler I believe, said, "Oh, what foods these morsels be"?

THE GREAT OBSCENE SWAN SONG GAG

2008-06-07T16:29:03Z

Further to with how much booze would it be prudent to ply an editor when I submit THE GREAT OBSCENE SWAN SONG GAG for publication on the last day of 9 Chickweed Lane (which, I must stress, is not ending; I'm just woolgathering; and don't make me write this sentence again): The vote so far has been largely in favor of the gallon bottle - and those votes come from writers who know editors. There are others who feel a jeroboam would be just the ticket, but I think that's just because they liked saying the word "jeroboam." I know I do – especially with a little hip action accompanied by Ricky Ricardo and the Club Babalu orchestra.

I can think of one editor whom I would have gladly rammed into a butt of malmsey – and not a good year. Her name was Little Nell, or Miss Chicken Licken. I can't really remember.
===========================

Turning to a different note, I append here, after too long an absence, three more installments of...

The first, one of my younger daughter's favorites, contains a reference to one "Thor." Thor was a huge, strapping example of manhood for whom Angela developed a crush. Norman had to resign himself to it. The second cartoon is her other favorite. The third I just threw in.

(click, as always, to get a larger view)
©Brooke McEldowney 2008

WHEN IN THE COURSE OF CARTOON EVENTS, IT BECOMES NECCESARY...

2008-06-05T18:01:16Z

...to sunder a pair of characters, it is done not to cause clamorous grief amongst one's readership, but to create conflict within the story – a conflict that seeks resolution. A really good, satisfying resolution. At the most cut-and-dried level, this is basic to story construction: conflict, development, resolution. It is the game at which we all play.

Captain: What is that off the starboard bow? (exposition) Take a look there with those heavy, official-looking Navy-issue binoculars hanging around your neck, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant: I believe it is a torpedo, Captain. (conflict)
Captain: I believe there is a supreme being, Lieutenant. But officers and gentlemen never discuss religion. (development) What is that thing off the starboard bow?
Lieutenant: A torpedo, sir. (certain conflict)
Captain: Can we maneuver out of its path? (more development)
Lieutenant: No, sir. (really tense tense tense conflict)
Captain: Then kiss me, you fool. (resolution)

This, then, is storytelling – storytelling of burly men at sea, and the sound of binoculars clinking together like nobody's business.

But I digress.

I have been receiving a lot of mail importuning me to "say it ain't so," anent Amos and Edda's break-up. I seem to have upset a lot of people. Many even fear the imminent end of "9 Chickweed Lane" as a strip and a love story. All I can say is, nothing like that is happening. When the time comes that I end Chickweed, it will be with the dirtiest line ever exchanged between mother and daughter in a syndicated comic strip, and therefore it will be published nowhere, unless all my editors aren't looking (i.e., I will have to send them booze). Oh, I have it all planned. It's a humdinger. (And, no, they won't be sitting on a garden swing, Juliette saying, "Honey, let's discuss personal freshness," to which Edda can reply, "You smell like a sewer yourself, you old bag." No. It will be better than that. Or worse than that. Depends how you look at it. I'm picking out the booze for my editors now, just in case.)

So, please don't worry. I'm just writing conflict into my story. You have to ride it out.

Meanwhile, what do you think? Should I buy them all fifths, or go for the gallon bottles? It's a pretty dirty line.

Brooke

FOR THOSE WHO WERE LOOKING THE OTHER WAY...

2008-05-23T02:12:20Z

Notes have been arriving lately from readers who express surprise and confusion that "PIBGORN REP: A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM" is now in print. "Why didn't you announce it?" they ask. "Are there copies left?" "WHA...?"

I can only say, I did announce it, right here...actually, below here. Yes, there are copies left. And I don't know how to answer that last bit.

Scroll down a few entries and you'll see the news.

Meanwhile, I stumbled across the following sketch, which is the original composition for the final page of A Midsummer Night's Dream. I really enjoy this one. Don't know why. Just do.

(click, of course, to see it larger)
©2008 Brooke McEldowney

UP WITH THE SNARK IN THE MORNING...

2008-05-16T03:26:11Z

Do you hear the flutter of little wings?

The long wait is over. The Snark is at it again. Don't miss her.

Click the link at the right for The Snark Ascending, or go to snarkascending.livejournal.com.

Humor with a deep gulp of oxygen. And no queues.

What are you waiting for?

WAHOO TERMINAL, with a word from our sponsor...

2008-05-14T16:38:16Z

I pilfered this gag for Thorax (I'm pretty certain I did, anyway); however, again, I like the original better. Thorax owes a lot to Norman.

(click to enlarge)
©2008 Brooke McEldowney

=====================

And now, a moment of repose from "Pibgorn Rep: A Midsummer Night's Dream":

If ever an image begged for explanation, it is the one above, culled from the book now available from Pib Press. "Pibgorn Rep: A Midsummer Night's Dream" also features two handy introductions, the first by Alan Dean Foster ("Soliloquy With Big Band"), the second by myself ("The Elizabethan Hoodlum Movie Musical Extravaganza Nobody Will Every See"), and, in the end, a tidy little glossary to account for such words as "aby," "virgin patent" and "Taurus' snow" (I doubt that many of Shakespeare's original audiences were up to speed on what "Taurus' snow" meant, but I may be wrong). If you'd like to have a copy to place provocatively on your coffee table (when you aren't spilling coffee on it), just fire off an e-mail to pibpress@verizon.net, let them know your zip code (if you have one) or your location (if you don't), and mention how many copies you'd like, if you want to pay by check or by credit card via Paypal, and if you want it shipped priority or media mail. They will be back in touch with you probably within the day to give you all the particulars.

As I look at it again and again, I have to say that I'm pretty pleased with the way it turned out. I hope you'll like it too.

THE GREEN ROOM CHATS

2008-05-05T14:13:59Z

A number of readers (don't you love that expression? What number was that? One? Forty-two? Was it prime?)...where was I? Oh, yes. A number of readers of the new book, "Pibgorn Rep: A Midsummer Night's Dream," have lamented the absence in its pages of the post-performance actor interviews that I originally included online – after Oberon and Puck exited upstage. So, to be a good soul and a considerate cartoonist, I post here the interviews.

You may notice that the interview with me, at the end, was a mite bilious. I hadn't had my gallbladder out at the time. That's my excuse.

To get a larger view of the pages, click each one. To make it yet larger, click it again.

As always, ©2008 Brooke McEldowney

CANNIBAL FEAST

2008-05-02T00:14:51Z

Before perusing these, you should know that these are the originals. Years later, I cannibalized them for 9 Chickweed Lane. You may recall the gags. I like them best as they appear here.

(click each one for a larger view)
©2008 Brooke McEldowney
---------------------------

Finally, "Pibgorn Rep: A Midsummer Night's Dream" has arrived and awaits your orders. Pib Press went ahead and fulfilled a lot of your initial requests, sending out books from a small batch they got early from the printer. The response has been outstanding, and it caught everyone off-guard. We anticipated only moderate interest in a setting of a Shakespeare play; and the print run was accordingly small. Prevailing opinion, as it turns out, was very wrong - wrong in a most agreeable way. I hope the print run holds out. We may be the next Hoola Hoop, except, of course, "Pibgorn Rep: A Midsummer Night's Dream" looks more like a book than a Hoola Hoop.

Again, just send in your query to pibpress@verizon.net, and tell them your zip code, the number of copies you want, which copies you want (The Girl In The Coffee Cup, and/or Midsummer), and, if you have any preferences – media mail or priority, check or PayPal. That will help speed things along. If you are ordering from outside the U.S., just write. Pib Press will take over from there, and let you know the cost.

THE GROUND IS ROCKING...THE GROUND IS REALLY ROCKING!

2008-04-11T19:51:24Z

The response to news of "Pibgorn Rep: A Midsummer Night's Dream" has been, to indulge in bit of understatement, stunning. The small but crack staff at Pib Press have been inundated in queries and orders for the book, and they're scrambling rather in the manner of The Keystone Cops to keep up. If you don't hear from them right away, don't worry. You're in the queue. See below for the original announcement.

And, lest I forget, thank you all so very much.

GIVE ME YOUR HANDS IF WE BE FRIENDS...

2008-04-04T12:36:49Z

IT IS TIME TO ROCK THE GROUND.

The next Pibgorn book is poised for pre-orders. "Pibgorn Rep: A Midsummer Night's Dream," is now in the offing exclusively from its publisher, Pib Press, to be released in the end of April.

(click to see a larger image)
©2008 Brooke McEldowney

During its original appearance online the cause of simultaneous exultation, controversy and vituperation, this bawdy performance of Shakespeare's play in cartoon format has occasioned innumerable requests for issuance in book form. College professors of English literature, high school teachers of same, have proposed it as a text in their courses; Shakespeare lovers (most of them) have solicited it for their bookshelves. Pibgorn fans in general have importuned me for it. All the more curious because other readers have reviled it as an obnoxious, Elizabethan imposition on their reading comfort, and others still have assessed it as rather dirty (although that last bit was not actually an objection). Looking back on the original installments of "A Midsummer Night's Dream," I have to confess that I nearly scrubbed the project in its final days, refusing to capitulate when I was told that my adaptation had become too salacious for readers ("soft porn" was the term ventured editorially, and highly inaccurately, to describe it) and that I perforce would have to tone it down. The truth is, the steeds of prurience had already thundered from those stables – but because the subject was Shakespeare, my online custodians had been snoring at their swabs. (I'll try to purée that metaphor later.) With less than an hour to spare, and desirous to see the story to its close, I relented and bowdlerized the penultimate drawing as stipulated (the honeymoon couples abed on their wedding night were required to be dressed – turning Lysander and Hermia into Ken and Barbie – a corruption now purged, I am pleased to say, from the book).

The present edition comprises nearly all of the original art. Some drawings I polished a bit, a couple I dropped because I hated them, and I dished up five new panels because I just wanted to. There's also a small glossary in the back, and a rather longer introduction by me in the front.

(click to see a larger image)
©2008 Brooke McEldowney

I am most proud and honored to say that Alan Dean Foster very kindly provided the foreword to "A Midsummer Night's Dream," and I can't thank him enough. Did I say it is an honor? Well, it is an honor.

Also, I have to tender my gratitude to my collaborator, William Shakespeare, whose words I treated carefully and reverently, even given the circumstances. My intro will explain more on that count. All told, I don't think my meddling will leave him spinning like a lathe in his grave.

"Pibgorn Rep: A Midsummer Night's Dream," for those who are counting, is a square volume of 176 pages. It is also a special, limited run.

I loved creating every molecule of it.

Just write to Pibpress@verizon.net to queue up for the book. Don't forget to mention your zip code, or country of origin if other than the U.S. Also, let them know the number of copies you contemplate purchasing.

SOMETHING FOR THE OLD ALMA MATER...OR WAS IT ALMA MAHLER?

2008-03-25T12:03:01Z

(click the image to see a larger one; do it again, and it get's really large)
©2008 Brooke McEldowney

The dog at the piano is the first Rudyard. The second Rudyard was more of a whippet, installed in 9 Chickweed Lane to hurl ironic barbs at the first cat, Ambrose. I think I still like the first Rudyard best. He played piano, lamented his amputated testicles, and experienced intense love pangs for a dead cat named Periwinkle. It was a rich tapestry.

Incidentally, for those of you wondering about "The Snark Ascending" (see the link to the right), she's approaching finals time at good old Aarkvard, yonder on the hill, masticating up our children and spitting them out as our nation's future buck-passers (Motto: We Masticate Up Your Children and Spit Them Out As Our Nation's Future Buck-Passers), and has precious little time for really worthwhile efforts like The Snark. But stop in to look at the archive. In May she'll be back (Did you feel a bum chill when I said that? I sure did).

AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR...

2008-03-23T15:22:43Z

...BOOK PUBLISHING FRIENDS AT PIB PRESS!

IT'S HEART HEALTHY!

NOW WITH 0g TRANS FATS (which means, 0.4g trans fats, which allows me to say it's 0g trans fats, by rule of law)!

HAVE YOU BEEN CONTEMPLATING ENLARGING YOUR LIBRARY WITH THIS LUSCIOUS VOLUME? NOW IS THE TIME TO MATCH THE THOUGHT WITH A DEED!

Just drop an e-mail to pibpress@verizon.net and let them know your zip code (if in the U. S.), or where you are (if further flung), and they will take it from there. If you wish to pay by PayPal or by check, you might mention that as well. And remember...

NOW WITH 0g TRANS FATS!

EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A LAWYER NAMED FLEKKY

2008-03-23T12:15:33Z

(click the drawing to see a larger image)
©2008 Brooke McEldowney

THE BROCCOLI BISQUE ONE

2008-03-19T02:48:50Z

(click to see a legible enlargement)
©2008 Brooke McEldowney

This one, the broccoli bisque gag, caused one early syndicate editor to stop and shake her head, saying that I had gone too far. Perhaps. But I still like it.

On another subject, I noticed the other day that some booksellers who list their stock with the big, online bookstores are now marketing "Pibgorn - The Girl In The Coffee Cup" in new and used condition, at over twice its cost new from Pib Press. One even commented "direct from the publisher," or something to that effect. I rubbed my tiny chin thoughtfully and said "hm," for nobody to hear in particular. Beware the jabberwock, the jaws that bite, the claws that catch.

A CHICKEN IN EVERY POT, AND A GIRL IN EVERY COFFEE CUP!

2008-03-08T20:53:30Z

(click the image to see an enlarged version)
©2008 Brooke McEldowney

"Pibgorn - The Girl in the Coffee Cup" is still percolating, and available from Pib Press by e-mailing pibpress@verizon.net. Let them know your zip code and preferred manner of posting (media mail, priority, donkey), or if you reside in fabled Cathay or Serendip, lands far flown from Pib Press (which is located in Maine), let them know that too. It will get the ball rolling. This process may seem quaint, but it is Pib Press's purpose to charge you only the actual postage necessary to get Pib to you, which is usually a great deal less than the charge online booksellers incorporate into their fee under the heading "Postage and handling."

ANOTHER COUPLE OF NUGGETS FROM THE TROVE WE CALL...

2008-03-05T12:43:06Z

They're back.............................

2008-02-27T12:09:31Z

(click to enlarge the image; click again to make it even larger)
©2008 Brooke McEldowney

Pardon my absence. Many of you wrote to ask if I'm still well and mending. Thanks for asking, and yes, I'm fine. Just tardy. Here I've posted two daily installments.

My Favorite (I think)

2008-02-10T16:01:21Z

(click for larger image)
©2008 Brooke McEldowney

This one was a sticking point for the first editor who viewed it. She loved it, and just said, succinctly, "No." Then, for clarity, she added, "No no no no no no no no no no." ("No" was a summary word in her vocabulary. She also loosed a salvo of them at the "Seven Nipples" cartoon.) The early 90's were not good days for mucus. I like to think we're more embracing now.

WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GALLSTONES

2008-02-02T20:57:53Z

To catch you up, I offer three sweetmeats from the confectioners here at:

(as always, click the picture to see it enlarged)
©2008 Brooke McEldowney

By the way, I want to thank each of you again for the now countless letters wishing me a quick recovery from my bout with the gallbladder. The surgery, I'm afraid, wasn't really all that interesting. I slept through the most dramatic part. All I retain is a conviction that I dueled several musketeers bearing very antiseptic épées – and I have the wounds to prove it.

FEELING A BIT LESS BILIOUS

2008-01-30T15:44:43Z

I just got back from the local hospital where they took my gallbladder and gave me a breakfast. I'm rather sore, sitting here typing this, so I won't stay on for long except to say thanks so very much to all of you who wrote good wishes.

All best to you. I'll try to start cranking out Pib as soon as I can. It might take a couple of days more.

Brooke

Pibgorn interruptus

2008-01-28T14:38:44Z

Greetings all,

This is the Snark, logging in from Aarkvard to pass along my father's apologies for being unable to post a Pibgorn. This message he has conveyed to me from the emergency room, where he must (as he put it) surrender his gallbladder for his efforts.

Bottom line, all is well. In the meantime, he just wanted you to know.

Nicola

THE FIRST GAG I COBBLED FOR...

2008-01-21T23:15:53Z

(click to see a larger version)
©2008 Brooke McEldowney

This is, I believe, the first drawing I dished up for Wahoo Terminal. I remember feeling inspired by it. It may be the second. But I think it's the first. Don't hold me to that. I don't want to make any wild claims I have to retract later. Still, I think this is the first. Depending on what the meaning of "this" is. And what the meaning of "is" is.

Now my throat is getting dry. Is it warm in here?

Something I forgot to post on Sunday

2008-01-17T00:50:14Z